In the book, “Dating a Widower” (Ben Lomond Press, $8.99) Abel Keogh discusses this topic as an expert. After all, he was widowed nearly 10 years ago and has since remarried.
Dating is tricky enough as it is, but dating a widower has even more possible pitfalls. Women may wonder if the issues that may arise are grief-driven or simply problems that the widower is struggling with. Keogh says that often it’s hard to tell.
To make the experience as smooth as possible, he suggests:
Women who date widowers should never feel like they’re being compared or held up against the late wife. They should feel loved and respected for who they are.
Widowers act, behave and grieve like men. Never make excuses for bad behavior or allow him to make his date feel second best because of grief.
The man should always treat his date like a queen. The book says “a man who loves you will move mountains to show you how he feels and a man’s actions are worth more than a thousand of his words.”
Learning how to communicate is essential to resolving issues and making sure the widower is ready to open his heart to you.
Be prepared to be patient. Every widower is different and some may need more time before they are prepared to get into a new relationship.
Margot Hovley’s first novel will be published by Covenant Communications in 2012. Find her self-reliance blog at www.mynewoldschool.com or read about her writing adventures at www.margothovley.com .